Konoha Psycho
by Roxius
Summary: Major OOC and AU. Hyuga Hinata goes on a little evil killing spree. Nothing big. BE WARNED, CONTAINS SOME BRUTAL STUFF, LIKE GORE AND CANNIBALISM. Please Read and Review! Please Review, people, I mean it!
1. PinkHaired Bitch

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. And...too bad this won't end up being yuri, huh? Or will it?

Also, I have NO IDEA why I wrote this. Seriously. I got the idea off of American Psycho...

* * *

Haruno Sakura, 31, was feeling sceptical as she walked through the parking lot and even as she climbed into her sleek red Mercedes Benz. She undid her tie and tossed it in the backseat, and then pulled out a small piece of paper she had received earlier from none other than Hyuga Hinata, who happened to be one of her fellow employees. However, the reason she was so sceptical in the first place was because she and Hinata weren't exactly what you would call "friends". In fact, Sakura hated the bitch.

'God...her handwriting is still as awful as ever...' Sakura thought as she struggled to read the note. Reaching into her purse, Sakura grabbed her reading glasses (which she tried to avoid using as often as possible), and peered closely at the note. From what she had been told, it was the address to the new apartment complex Hinata had just moved into recently.

Despite the fact she could barely make out half of the note, Sakura stuck her key into the ignition, thrusted it forward, and then drove the car out of the parking lot and onto the mainstream highway. As cars and trucks zoomed past her left and right, Sakura tried to come to some logical conclusion of why Hinata would approach her of all people.

'It just doesn't make sense...maybe she's jealous of me and wants to learn my secrets of perfection...heh heh...'

As she turned off of the highway and down Route 113, Sakura thought back about her past concerning Hinata. Three years ago, they had both tried for the same job at the same company; obviously, Sakura came out the winner. Then, Hinata got a job as an intern for that company, but since she was paid less and not considered a useful component to the company's success, Sakura compared herself as being 'better' than the Hyuga woman.

Sakura had even taken the time to publicly admit her superiority, since she knew that Hinata was too damn sweet and kind to even think twice about it. Just thinking about how poor little loser Hinata would grovel at her feet, begging for life's answers, made Sakura chuckle to herself.

'That pathetic bitch...what a fucking loser...' Sakura thought, a smirk forming on her lips.

Although the part of the note she could read had requested to come soon after work, Sakura didn't see any reason to actually fulfill that part of the request. So, she took a quick stop at a doughnut shop and bought herself a cup of dark coffee before speeding on down the road again.

After a while, and a bit of difficult translation on Sakura's part, the pink-haired woman finally reached the apartment complex Hinata lived in. As she drove her car into the parking lot behind the building, Sakura took one good look at it and thought, 'Damn...this place is a dump. Fitting for a loser like her...'

Sakura brought her car to a stop in between a light-brown Volvo and a dark-green Subaru, and contemplated whether or not to bring her suitcase along. 'If that bitch starts giving me a hard time, I could always whack her with my suitcase...' Sakura thought, smirking at the idea. Eventually, she decided to leave it there, and locked the car as she headed for the front doors.

The moment Sakura stepped into the main entrance wing of the apartment, she felt a shiver crawl up her spine. Then, the next moment, it was gone.

'That...was rather strange...' Sakura pondered as she stepped into an open elevator slot and pressed one of her manicured fingers against the number '3' on the dashboard. Not long after the elevator doors closed, they opened again, and Sakura stepped out into a dimly-lit hallway. The carpeting looked shaggy and hideous in Sakura's opinion, and the corridor reeked with alcohol and rat piss. She could practically see the fumes flowing around right before her eyes.

Suddenly, one of the doors swung open, and Sakura nearly jumped out of her skin. Stepping out to greet her was none other than Hyuga Hinata, who was still wearing her suit from work. Clasping her hands together and smiling widely, Hinata exclaimed, "Ah, Sakura-chan! I was getting worried you wouldn't come! Thank you for accepting my invitation!"

Sakura didn't even bother faking a grin as she barged her way past Hinata and entered the apartment room. Since Hyuga had only recently moved in, most of the furniture and things were still wrapped up. Still, Sakura figured that it was all cheap, tacky junk and that the ugly white shading of the walls matched Hinata's personality completely. In fact, the pink-haired woman just went right out and spoke her mind.

"Oh, you really think so?" Hinata replied, seeming to think that it was a compliment, "Thank you so much, Sakura-chan! You're so smart!"

"...I am, aren't I?" Sakura muttered in reply.

"Yeah...hey, how about a drink? I bought some wine today to celebrate!" Hinata exclaimed, and then she rushed into the kitchen to fetch the drinks.

Even though she didn't give a damn about Hinata, Sakura wasn't about to pass up free alcohol, so she decided to stay a bit longer. Planting her ass on the couch, Sakura placed her feet on Hinata's fine chinese table and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. As she lit one, Hinata walked back into the room, carrying a tray with two glasses of wine and the wine bottle itself.

"Here...help yourself." Hinata said, placing the tray onto the table. She didn't even seem to mind that Sakura was making herself way too comfortable, especially with her feet on her priceless family heirloom of a table, or that the pink-haired woman was smoking right in front of her. The Hyuga woman just kept smiling and smiling.

As she watched Sakura hold her cigarette between her fingers and take a long sip of the wine, Hinata said, "You know, Sakura, I'm really glad you came to help celebrate me getting a new apartment room. I know it's not all that big, and the building itself is worn down, but I guess that's what happens with people who don't make as much money as you. But anyway, back to my original point, I'm glad you came because...I think of you as my friend..."

Sakura almost choked on her drink. "Y...Your friend? I don't want to be your friend!"

"You're right...you're right...I'm sorry..." Hinata replied, holding up her hands in apology, "I should have kept my stupid mouth shut...sorry..."

"Damn right you should have..." Sakura muttered, sliding the cigarette back into her mouth.

After about a minute of silence, Hinata suddenly stood up and headed into the bathroom, which was located behind the couches. Opening up a cabinet under the sink, she pulled out a long yellow raincoat. She unzipped it and draped it over her body as she proclaimed, "Sakura, I want you to know that I'll still think of you as my friend, even though you want nothing to do with me. You've been able to do everything I've always wanted to do; you're more successful than me, I admit it. You've even lost your virginity already at the age of 16, and I'm still too scared to even look at a man's penis..."

Sakura tried hard to keep herself from laughing at that last statement.

"But...you know, I've always been unlucky," Hinata continued, having finished putting on the raincoat, and now reaching for another item underneath the sink, "I've always been kind of slow, kind of stupid. My mother thought I had ADD when I was four, and she put me on Ritalin. In reality, I had ADHD, which in my own retrospect, is completely different. I had a boyfriend for about a week in high school, and then he died in a car crash. My dog, who had been with me through thick and thin for 12 long painful years, was shot to death with paint balls on Halloween. My father had about three heart attacks, and my mother had two. I broke a leg and an arm every year in high school. Today, I slipped in the bathtub while taking a shower, and my head started bleeding...my whole life has been one big bag of shit."

"...Is this going to be your goddamn life story or what?" Sakura snapped loudly, now drinking from the wine bottle instead of pouring another glass.

"I'm just saying I love you...alot."

Sakura winced. "Eww...are you a lesbian or something?"

Smiling and shaking her head, Hinata walked back into the living room. Sakura still had her back turned, and blew out another puff of smoke into the air. Raising the axe clenched in her hands, Hinata let her emotions take over.

"HEY, SAKURA!"

"...Huh?"

Sakura barely turned her head when the blade of the axe tore into her face, crushing part of her skull and sending blood flying everywhere.

'It's a good thing I had all the furniture covered in foil and put on this raincoat beforehand!' Hyuga thought.

Hinata smirked as she walked around the couch and stood over poor twitching, bleeding Sakura. The pink-haired woman's once beautiful face had been marred beyond repair, and that alone made Hinata happy. But...she wasn't done yet. Not by a long shot.

Hinata lifted the axe high over her head, and brought it crashing down on Sakura's face once again, and blood splattered all over Hinata's face. The sound of cracking bone filled the air.

"YOU...FUCKING..BITCH!" Hinata screamed furiously as she continued to swing the axe down on Sakura's mangled body, "YOU THINK YOU'RE SO FUCKIN' GREAT?! YOU THINK YOU'RE SO FUCKIN' GREAT? FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU TO HELL! YOU STUPID CONCEITED BITCH! I WANTED THAT JOB, AND YOU TOOK IT FROM ME! YOU TOOK IT FROM ME! YOU...TOOK...IT...FROM...ME!!"

Blood and bone hit the walls and the floor as Hinata tore open Sakura's chest violently with the axe and stamped the woman's organs to shreds. Hinata reveled as she felt the woman's lungs become squished underneath her feet. She licked some blood off her cheek and found it to be quite tasty.

"HOW DARE YOU HAVE A BETTER LIFE, AND GO AROUND ACTING LIKE YOU'RE SO FUCKIN' BIG-SHOT! YOU STUPID, STUPID PIECE OF MOTHERFUCKIN' SHIT! YOU FUCKING BITCH! DIE! DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!! GO TO HELL AND ROT, YOU COCK-SUCKING WHORE! YOU FUCKIN' SLUT! YOU DISGUST ME!! YOU FUCKING BITCH! I SUFFER ALL MY LIFE, AND YOU JUST LAUGH AT ME! HOW DARE YOU! FUCKING STUPID BITCH!"

As the gooey remains of Sakura's appendex hung on the bottom of Hinata's shoes, she then effortlessly slid the axe through her victim's neck, decapitating her. Tossing the bloodstained axe aside, Hinata lifted Sakura's head by the hair, and tore off a chunk of the cheek with her teeth.

"I'M FUCKIN' EAT YOU, BITCH! I'M FUCKIN' EAT YOU! HA HA!"

She then swallowed the piece of flesh and threw the bloody head hard against the wall, causing it to burst into a pile of blood and brains.

...The deed was done.

Nearly every inch of the living room was smeared in fresh blood, skin and bone. Hinata calmly walked over to where the remains of Sakura's head lay, scooped a handful of brains into her hands, and ate them one by one.

'Hmm...pretty good, actually.'

Removing her raincoat, Hinata's suit was revealed to have been kept perfectly clean throughout the whole ordeal. Still, her face, hair, shoes and hands were drenched in the crimson liquid. The result of her plan had been definitely worth it, but the clean-up was going to be such a pain.

Staring down at the mutilated corpse that was once Haruno Sakura, Hinata suddenly came up with the perfect idea to dispose of the body.

* * *

A week later, Haruno Sakura was declared legally missing, and a FBI team set out to locate her. Unfortunately, after almost a year of searching, the only lead they came to was dealing with Hyuga Hinata, who ended up proving herself to have no connection in the disappearance whatsoever.

Since Haruno Sakura was now gone, the company manager finally seemed to notice Hinata and her work, and gave her the promotion she always wanted; she now had Haruno Sakura's job as the manager's official secretary!

On the first day of her new position, Hinata brought in a whole meatloaf just for the employees. There was really no point in her bringing it in, but it was free, so no questions asked, no questions answered. She even planned on taking home whatever was left over.

However, one of the employees, Shikamaru, was a little confused when he found a single pink strand of hair inside of it. He thought nothing of it, though, and continued to eat...


	2. Old Perverted Manager

A/N: ...Huh?

* * *

When Hyuga Hinata finally returned to the apartment, it was already past midnight; the celebration went on alot longer than she expected, especially because everyone was glad that that pompous bitch Haruno Sakura was finally gone. As she stepped into the entrance hall of the building, she felt a rush of cold air. The manager of the apartment complex always liked to turn off the air conditioning at night, and no one seemed to complain...since he had a shotgun he always concealed in his pants just in case.

The whole interior of the apartment was pitch-black, since the manager also hated to waste electricity when it wasn't needed.

'That damn old bastard needs to learn how to actually run a place efficiently...' Hinata thought.

Hinata took a quick glance at the bag in her right hand; the contents were what was left of the delicious meatloaf she had brought in. 'Good thing that fatass Choji didn't stuff the whole thing down his fuckin' throat...' the Hyuga woman thought with a smirk. In Hinata's left hand was her suitcase, which, besides her new workload, held a few interesting items she had purchased before arriving home.

'I wonder when I'll get to try them out...hopefully tonight...I'm starving...'

She had barely made it to the elevator when a hoarse voice from behind snapped, "What da hell you t'ink you're doin'?"

Spinning around, Hinata saw the old douchebag of a manager himself, candlestick in hand; a grumpy, hateful 89-year-old named Gunichi Yasaguwa. He wore a pair of dirty old navy-blue suspenders way too big for him, and no shirt, so his skinny, disgusting chest was visible to all. He was actually pretty healthy for his age, being able to take care of such a huge place all by himself, but he sure as hell didn't look it. He also had a slight speaking problem after having his jaw broken once by his ex-wife.

"Hello, Mr. Yasaguwa. How have you been? What are you doing up so late?" Hinata asked, trying to sound as polite as possible.

"I should be askin' you da same questi'n! You're always acting so myst'ious lately, and it's pissin' me off! Are you planning on tryin' to kill me?" the paranoid old foggey snapped; despite trying to sound angry, Hinata could tell even in the limited light source that Mr. Yasaguwa was staring at her breasts with those beady little eyes of his. Smirking, Hinata decided to use this to her advantage.

Purposely bending down far enough for her breasts to hang, Hinata purred, "Why...whatever do you mean, Mr. Yasaguwa? You know I'm a good girl..."

"Y...Y...Yesh, yes...of c-course you are..." he grumbled, trying to turn his eyes away. Hinata tried her best to keep herself from laughing at this pathetic excuse of a human being fawning over her. She had just completely changed his viewpoint of her with a single sentence. Reaching out, Hinata placed a gentle, gloved hand on Mr. Yasaguwa's lumpy shoulder and smiled sweetly.

'I can practically see the blood dripping out his nose...what a disgusting pervert...'

"H...H...Hinata...I means, Ms. Hyuuga...just...just go...go back to yer room..." Mr. Yasaguwa ordered meekly, his mental barrier breaking before Hinata's very eyes. Giggling, Hinata leaned close, and began opening her suitcase with her free hand. Luckily for her, Mr. Yasaguwa was too busy staring into her eyes to notice the large metallic object she had pulled out.

"...Mr. Yasaguwa...no...Gunichi-san..."

"Y...Yesh, Ms. Hyuuga?"

"Make love to me..."

Hinata pressed her plump ruby red lips against Mr. Yasaguwa's greasy dry mouth, and she immediately found herself fighting the urge to puke.

'Oh my god...does this sicko ever brush his teeth...or bathe...or anything? Ugh! It's disgusting! But...it's fun, messing with people like this...I bet his dick is the size of my pinky finger...'

Mr. Yasaguwa felt himself grow hard as he continued to make out with the younger woman. He forced himself up to her and rubbed against her crotch, trying to get off somehow. He squeezed Hinata's tits in his hands, and groaned as his tongue clashed with hers. Then, just as he was finally letting loose...

...the hatchet came down on his head, slicing it almost clean in half.

"I HOPE I MADE YOUR LAST MOMENTS HAPPY, YOU SICK FUCK." Hinata whispered with a twisted smile, and after scooping poor Mr. Yasaguwa's brain into her bag, she quickly got onto the elevator and headed into her room.

Heading into the bathroom, she dropped the brain into the sink and turned on the facet. As it was being washed, Hinata went to her closet and put on different clothes. Staring down at her blood-covered suit and shoes, she thought, 'I guess I'll have to burn these...good thing I still have about thirty pairs of them both...'

When she went back to the bathroom, Hinata switched off the facet and carefully lifted the brain into her hands. She grabbed a large plate out of the cupboard and placed the brain on top of it. Then, she started to inspect it.

"Hmm...since it belonged to a disgusting old pervert like him, I doubt it'll taste good at all..."

Now that she'd thought about it, Hinata wondered how fattening all these brains and human organs she had been eaten lately were.

Since it didn't really matter to her now, Hinata thought nothing of it and cut off a small chunk of the brain, and tossed it into her mouth. She thought it tasted like crap, but since she had no other way to dispose of the brain at the moment, she had no choice but to eat it.

When she was done, Hinata had to unbutton her jeans a bit. Placing a hand on her stomach, she realized she was getting a little big. "Ugh..." Grunting as she lifted herself from the table, Hinata walked over to the couch, planted her widening ass down, and flipped on the TV.

'Now that Haruno Sakura is gone, I feel like I'm on top of the world, and I'm going to make sure I stay there...'

Hinata was beginning to enjoy killing. And eating people.


	3. Hyuga Hinata?

_Several weeks later..._

When Uzumaki Naruto regained consciousness, the first thing he saw was Shikamaru laying a few feet away from him...or, at least, what used to be Shikamaru. The poor man's face and hair had been scalped off and several large holes covered his chest area. A large blood stain had formed under the body. On both sides of Shikamaru's corpse also laid Choji and Ino, who were just as badly mutilated. Naruto was unable to make out exactly where he was, but it looked like they were inside a warehouse of sorts.

'Ugh...how long have I been here...?' he wondered groggily. Naruto tried to move, but he immediately realized he had been bound and gagged. He felt a strange warmth run down the side of his head; he figured he was bleeding. It took most of his energy now just to stay awake, as he felt like he hadn't had a bite to eat or anything to drink in days. Even worse, the area he was being kept in was smoldering hot, and the stench of the rotting corpses didn't help any.

He was afraid he was going to drop dead any moment. And he most likely was going to...but in the most painful way possible, just like poor Shikamaru and the others.

Suddenly, he heard a door slide open...and footsteps soon followed. Naruto suddenly a chill crawl down his spine and he knew he was most likely going to die here.

A woman with long black hair walked up in front of him; she wore an oni mask over her face to conceal her true identity, but Naruto recognized her the moment he laid his eyes on her breasts.

'HYUGA HINATA?!'

Kneeling down in front of him, Hinata let out a low chuckle from behind her mask and purred, "Oh, Naruto-kun...do you want to take back what you said about me being FAT now?" That was when Naruto realized Hinata was holding a bloody kitchen knife in her hands.

"I've been going to the rec center every day after work, and I exercise regularly. So I won't become fat and ugly in your eyes...and yet you still think I am. Why? Why? Whhhhhhy?" Hinata continued in a soft voice. She had gone completely off the deep end by this point in her secret "career" as a serial killer/cannibal.

"Oh, yeah! You can't answer me when you're gagged like that!" Hinata exclaimed with a high-pitched giggle, and she removed the dirty wipe tied around Naruto's mouth.

"H...Hinata...what're you-" Naruto began, but Hinata clasped her fingers around his neck tightly.

"Call me 'Hime'...and nothing else. After all, that's what I am." she hissed. Naruto almost lost consciousness from her strangle before Hinata finally let go. Coughing heavily for a bit, Naruto eventually brought himself to speak again.

'This crazy fuckin' bitch is DEFINITELY not a princess!'

"H...H...Hime...what...what's going on?" Naruto asked, trying to look pleasant despite his situation.

"Oh, Naruto-kun, don't act like you don't know..." Hinata giggled in response, rubbing up against the blond boy's body. Naruto tried to keep himself from puking when he saw the pieces of flesh and blood caught in Hinata's long silky hair. All he wanted was to get away, free himself, and find the police as soon as possible. Yet...he was at her mercy now.

He was at the mercy of a psychotic killer.

Suddenly, another voice rose out from behind him; it sounded weak and barely audible, but Naruto recognized that voice instantly.

"Tenten!" he cried out in relief, but Hinata slapped him hard across the face. She made sure to even slightly dig her nails into Naruto's cheek as she hit him.

"I DIDN'T SAY YOU COULD SPEAK TO ANYONE BUT ME!" She screeched. Even with the mask over her face, Naruto could easily feel the rage radiating from Hinata's eyes.

"Just...just let me see her...I want to make sure she's alright..." Naruto begged, wincing at the pain.

"...Why? Do you...LIKE HER?" Hinata asked, her voice full of disdain.

"N...No," Naruto meekly replied, "It's just...she's a fellow employee and...I'm tired of staring at corpses..."

"Alyways a regular Casanova, aren't you, Naruto-kun? Just hearing your voice is making me feel all tingly inside..."

Hinata smirked and, much to Naruto's suprise, ended up agreeing to his request. Graciouslly, Hinata spun him around so he could see Tenten...but what Naruto saw literally forced him to spew out the contents of his stomach all over the floor. It was the sickest thing he had ever seen.

Tenten's arms, legs, breasts and ears had been sliced off, and her naked limbless body was hammered to a huge wooden cross. Blood was seeping out of her anus and pussy. A life-support system was attached to Tenten's head, pumping oxygen into her brain and lungs, keeping her barely alive. Poor Tenten didn't even seem to realize what had happened to her, and low moans were all that emitted from her mouth. Naruto didn't even want to know what Hinata did with Tenten's removed body parts. How this tortured woman was even still alive was a mystery in itself.

"What...what the hell is this...?" Naruto grunted, overcome with horror and disgust. His eyes and throat were burning, and he could barely see through the tears. He couldn't stop shaking.

Hinata smiled sweetly and replied, "Don't you like it? It's my first major art piece! I think it came out pretty well...actually, no. I hate it. I'm going to destroy it soon."

Naruto, his eyes wide, turned to Hinata and defiantly screamed, "HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO HER, YOU MOTHERFUCKIN' BITCH! SHE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! YOU GODDAMN PIECE OF-"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Hinata screeched, and she smashed the front of her boot against Naruto's face, knocking out a tooth or two in the process. Blood poured down Naruto's chin, but he thought nothing of it. He felt only rage towards this woman now...

Without a word, Hinata then stormed over to Tenten, who seemed to squirm at her tormentor's presence. Raising her kitchen knife high, Hinata plunged it into Tenten's chest. She dug the knife deeper and deeper, causing Tenten to let out muffled squeals of pain. Then, Hinata quickly slid the knife down and pulled it back out, causing a spray of blood to erupt from Tenten's chest cavity.

Naruto just sat there in complete and utter horror as he was pelted with droplets of blood, Tenten's blood. It just kept coming; it was endless.

Hinata seemed to enjoy it and opened her mouth wide as more and more of the crimson liquid blew into her face.

Eventually, it came to an end as the last few trickles of blood dropped out. Now that it was over, both Hinata and Naruto were drenched. Tenten had ceased to continue moving.

"Annoying...bitch..." Hinata hissed as she slid her fingers into the slit she had created and pulled back, opening Tenten's chest. She then began rummaging around inside with the organs, if only to traumatize poor Naruto even more. She wanted to make sure he knew just how fuckin' screwed he was now that he was in her clutches!

"H...Hime...stop..." Naruto choked, trying to fight back another round of bile rising in his throat, but Hinata ignored his pleading and tore a rather large squishy blood-covered organ from within Tenten's carcass. She sniffed it, and then licked it, before shaking her head in disappointment, tossing the organ onto the floor, and stomping it to pieces with her foot.

Naruto couldn't take it anymore. If he was likely going to die here, he first wanted to know why Hinata did what she did. "HIME! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?"

Hinata froze for a moment, and then cocked her head sideways. "You really want to know, Naruto-kun? You really want to know? Are you sure?"

Summoning all his courage, Naruto nodded his head.

Sighing, Hinata swung her kitchen knife, decapitated Tenten's body in one clean sweep, and then began to speak.

"It all started...with Haruno Sakura. The biggest goddamn fuckin' bitch in the whole goddamn fuckin' universe. The fuckin' bitch who stole the job that was rightfully mine, the fucking bitch who lived a happy and successful lifestyle while I slept in a dingy old apartment and had to take Ritalin every day, the fucking bitch who sucked on your fuckin' cock like a fuckin' pig! IT ALL STARTED WITH HER!"

Naruto wasn't sure how to respond, so he just stayed quiet.

"One day, I was late to work so I skipped out on taking my Ritalin," Hinata continued, "And then a whole lot of bat-shit crazy ideas began forming in my head all at once. I would walk by these people and think 'Ooh, I'd like to tear her guts out' or 'hmm...I wonder what his brain looks like from the inside' and all that crap. Obviously, I was disgusted with those thoughts of mine, so I quickly rushed to the office...and then I saw Haruno Sakura. At that moment, I knew...I knew that if I was to kill anyone, it was HER. She was a pompous, selfish, know-it-all bitch who would have worked better at a whore house than a business office. So, I made up a whole elaborate lie that I had just moved into a new apartment building, tricked her into coming...and I fuckin' killed her. I tore her apart with an axe, crushed her organs with my feet, and ate her brains. After that...well, let's just say that everyone enjoyed that meatloaf, I suppose."

That last statement was more than enough to bring Naruto to puke again, and he was beginning to wonder just how much stomach acid he had left inside of him. "I...I really don't think having ADHD is the reason for your psychotic behavior..."

"OF COURSE IT ISN'T!" Hinata snapped, "Anyway, after getting promoted and disposing of the evidence, I was still feeling a bit hungry, so I killed the old pervert who runs the apartment I live in right before he got off...ya know what I mean. I ate his brain, and I realized I was getting fat, so I started exercising alot, but I heard you say I still looked fat to your fuckin' buddies Shikamaru and Choji, and Ino and Tenten were talking about it too and...NOW WE'RE HERE!"

"I...I was talking about the boss' assistant Shizune! She's pregnant, and I said she looked more fat than pregnant! THAT'S WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT!" Naruto screamed at her. His face had tensed up and he looked absolutely pissed, as he had every right to be.

All Hinata could say in response was, "...Oh, really? I didn't know..."

"YOU CRAZY FUCKIN' BITCH! YOU KILLED THEM ALL OVER A STUPID LITTLE COMMENT THAT WASN'T EVEN DIRECTED TOWARDS YOU!"

Suddenly, tears started to form in Hinata's eyes. She fell to her knees, splashing on the bloody puddle. She pressed her hands against her face and cried, "Oh...Naruto...Naruto-kun...I'm sorry...I'm so...so...so sorry..."

Naruto just glared at her, his breathing heavy. 'This woman...she's breaking down...no...she's already broken...'

Getting down on all fours, Hinata began crawling over to the blond man as she whimpered, "I...I can't control it...ya know...I can't control it. It's like, there's a demon possessing me, ya know. A demon. Like Beelzebub. Or Laharl. Or something like that. Yeah...it's the demon who's killing people, not me. I would never kill people...I'm a good girl, mommy, a good girl...I love all of God's little creatures...I do...Hanabi broke that rabbit's neck and put it in my hands...I didn't kill it...honest..."

'She's losing her mind...' Naruto realized.

Now their faces only inches apart, Hinata wrapped her arms around Naruto and sobbed into his shoulder. "Naruto-kun, everything I've done...everything I've done...it's all for you. All for you. I loved you ever since we first met at that business firm, but you only had feelings towards Haruno Sakura, and thought of me as only a friend. When I confronted Sakura, I never mentioned you once, afraid that by doing so I would just be admitting to myself how much I care for you. I'm a psycho...a fuckin' psycho...and I don't know what to do anymore...I just keep killing and killing and eating people...I can't stop...help me...help me, my love...I'm evil, and I must die...I have to die...but I can't even bring myself to take my own life. I need someone to help me..."

Naruto wasn't sure what to think; not only was he left speechless, but Hinata's erractic behavior and her sudden confession has left him devoid of thought as well. He wanted to both hug her and strangle her at the same time.

"...Hime..."

"Please...call me Hinata..."

"...Hinata...are you going to let me go free?"

Hinata's face twitched and she dug her fingers into Naruto's back, drawing blood.

"You bastard...I spill my heart out to you, and all you ask is if I'm going to let you leave? YOU SON OF A BITCH! I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL FUCKIN' KILL YOU!" She screeched into Naruto's ear, nearly making him deaf.

"Augh..."

Hinata kicked Naruto in the chest and knocked him onto his back. Her expression wild, the Hyuga woman then ran over to Tenten's corpse and snatched the kitchen knife up from a puddle of blood. Naruto tried to push himself back up, but it was no use; with his arms and legs tied, it was near impossible, especially with how weak he was after being captured for so long.

Then, he saw Hinata standing over him, her face shrouded in darkness. A drop of blood dripped from the tip of the kitchen knife she held unsteadily in her hands. Naruto gasped when he felt the woman's tears fall onto his face and lips. His heart was beating hard against his chest, and sweat rolled down his chin.

'I'm going to die...I'm going to die...' he thought in horror.

"N...Naruto...tell me..."

"...Tell you what?"

"Do you...do you like me?"

For a split second, Naruto believed that if he just lied and say that he did like her, he could survive, even for a bit longer.

"Yes...Hinata, I like you alot..."

Hinata smiled widely and replied, "Thank you...Naruto-kun."

Then...she stabbed the knife into her own chest, and dug it deeper and deeper until it pierced her heart. Blood poured out of the wound like a waterfall, and Naruto could only stare up at Hinata's tear-stained face in shock and disbelief.

"I'm glad...that someone...still likes me..." Hinata wheezed before collapsing to the floor, dead.

Naruto just laid on the blood-covered floor, another corpse now added to the pile surrounding him, lost in thought about everything he had just witnessed...


	4. Uzumaki Naruto

Naruto wasn't sure how long he had just laid there, staring at Hinata, lying there motionless. The soft buzz of flies broke the silence as the disgusting insects began to help themselves to Shikamaru, Ino, Choji and Tenten's bodies. Naruto's whole body felt numb; like he was just another corpse in the pile. A single fly landed on the bridge of his nose, and it only stayed there for a moment before flying off to pick at the rotting flesh along with its brethren.

He wanted the tears to come, he really did; but nothing came. He wanted to wail and sob over the death of so many friends, and how he was partially responsible for this vile woman's deeds, but he couldn't; he couldn't do or say anything. He was too tired to waste what little energy he had left on speaking about something so pointless now. There was nothing that could bring them back.

'Did everything I just witnessed...really happen? When can I wake up from this nightmare?' he wondered. Naruto tried to swallow, but his throat burned like hell, and it was so bad he ended up coughing in pain for about five seconds. Then, something wet and opaque shot out of his mouth and landed in Hinata's blood-stained hair; he had no idea what it was, nor did he wish to know.

It was becoming darker now, and the sun began to hide itself behind the mountains. Glancing over at Shikamaru's corpse, Naruto cringed when he saw it was covered in flies. The same went for Ino and Choji as well. Since Tenten's body was still somewhat fresh, it didn't have nearly as many flies nibbling at it, feasting off of it.

It was disgusting.

'Shikamaru, I'm sorry I never got to play that shogi game like we promised...Choji, it's too bad I wasn't able to try out that new recipe of yours you were always bragging about, especially because you wanted to become a world-famous chef...Ino, I never told you this, but I always thought you were pretty and a swell woman...Tenten, I loved you like a sister of sorts ever since we joined the business as employees together. I'm sorry this had to happen to all of you. Please forgive me...'

Closing his eyes, Naruto muttered a silent prayer.

After about an hour of silence, Naruto decided it was time to take action, and escape. Unfortunately, Hinata had made sure of preventing his escape earlier on.

Struggling to move his arms, Naruto thought, 'Dammit...if only I could free my arms and legs. Then I could escape this fuckin' hellhole...and find the police...'

Lying on his belly, Naruto slowly inched himself over to the large kitchen knife in Hinata's limp hands. 'Maybe...somehow...I can use this to free myself...' However, just as he was about to reach the knife, he noticed something odd; he was able to see Hinata's face from behind the oni mask at this angle...but it didn't look like Hinata at all.

Then, his thoughts were interrupted by a sound, something completely different from the humming of the flies.

Someone was coming, and they were whistling a charming little tune. It sounded like 'Haruka Kanata' or something of the like.

Naruto gasped. 'Yes! I'm saved! I'm saved!'

His heart filled with relief, Naruto shouted, "HEY, ANYBODY OVER THERE! HEY! I NEED YOUR HELP! PLEASE! I'M TIED UP BACK HERE! C'MON! HEY! HELP! HELP! ANYBODY?"

The whistling stopped, and the footsteps quickened. A person stepped out from behind a large pile of rubble, and Naruto's face fell and his eyes widened in horror when he saw who it was.

"...Oh, you're still alive, Naruto-kun?"

It was Hyuga Hinata, with a bloody chainsaw in her hands.

Licking a splotch of blood off her cheek, the black-haired psycho flashed a grin and said, "Naruto-kun, I'm both relived and unbearably pissed that you're alive!"

The side of Naruto's mouth twitched. "N...N...No...it can't be...no...oh my god...no...it can't be...no..."

"Shut it, Naru-kun." Hinata hissed, her voice reeling with venomous hatred.

Naruto was left speechless as he watched Hinata walk over to the body that moments ago was known as "Hinata" and tear off the oni mask. Naruto recognized the face of the woman who he had truly believed to have been the Hyuga woman...

...it was Yuko Nadashia, another fellow employee of his.

"What...what...what the fuck is this?!" Naruto snapped.

Chuckling, Hinata tossed the oni mask away and replied, "Naruto-kun, I'm glad you asked."

Planting her ass down on top of Yuko's corpse, Hinata let out a sigh, as if she was having a sudden bout of nostalgia.

"You see, I wanted to kill all of you off, but I didn't want to risk anything, so I forced dear little Yuko-chan here to aid me. She's a open lipstick lesbian, as you know, and I took advantage of that by feeling her up and bringing her to bed. It was while I was licking her delicious hairy pussy that I held a gun to her head and threatened her to aid me. I thought it was pretty funny, especially since I still had her cum all over my face..."

Naruto felt like puking again.

"Anyway, I forced her to learn all my mannerisms, all my killing techniques (I didn't really have any, mind you), and even how to speak in the exact tone as I do. I forced her by threatening to kill her whole family to learn an entire speech word for word. That whole speech she made, it really did come from my heart, Naruto-kun. I meant every word of it...but I wasn't about to take my life for it. Yuko probably snapped in the end and couldn't handle killing another innocent soul, so she took her own life while still fulfilling her role. What a fuckin' moron. You were all supposed to die!"

"...There's no way," Naruto snapped, "There's no way Yuko would do all of this!"

"Well, I did have to drug her quite a bit," Hinata continued, "Plus, I had her be the one who murdered Shikamaru, Ino and Choji. I let her do what she liked with Tenten, too, and I think she enjoyed it. Oh, and about the chainsaw, I decided to go and kill her family anyway. It was so much fun watching her sister's son scream in pain as I cut him in half..."

"YOU'RE INSANE! YOU'RE INSANE!! HOW COULD YOU DO THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" Naruto yelled, hating Hinata like no woman had ever been hated.

Instead of replying, Hinata began to crawl over to Naruto, and pressed herself up against him. Despite his raging disgust towards her, Naruto couldn't help but blush as he felt the Hyuga woman's plump breasts rub on his chest.

Suddenly, he saw Hinata flash a smirk, and her hands moved towards his crotch.

"...What're...what're you doing...?" Naruto asked in horror as Hinata began to unbutton his pants. Sliding her fingers down the blond man's underwear, she pulled out his bare penis for all the world to see.

"Ooh...Naruto-kun..." Leaning closely, Hinata began to slid her tongue along the side, letting out erotic groans as she did so. Wrapping her lips over the top, Hinata squeezed on it as hard as she could, causing Naruto to cry out in pain.

"C'mon, Naruto-kun," Hinata purred, "Why didn't you get a boner yet? Didn't that pink-haired whore do this too?"

Against his better hopes, Naruto's dick soon grew hard after a few minutes of Hinata's pleasuring.

Smiling at it, Hinata reached into her jacket and pulled out a long threading needle.

"Naruto-kun...I have a surprise for you. It's time for some fun."

"...Huh?"

Without warning, Hinata jabbed the needle into his left testicle.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!"

Naruto howeled and hot tears streamed down his cheeks as Hinata thrust the needle further through both his testicles at once, like a shishkabob. He tried to shake her off, but he was too weak, in too much pain to do anything but scream and cry. Smirking at his weeping, Hinata twisted the needle around, getting more pained screams and curses from Naruto.

"YES, DO YOU LIKE IT, NARUTO-KUN?! I BET YOU DO! I BET YOU DO! HA HA HA HA HA!! MY REASONS FOR KILLING ARE NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! NONE, I SAY! NONE!"

Now, the yells were beginning to get on Hinata's nerves, despite it being natural to hear when torturing someone.

"STOP SCREAMING!" Hinata barked, her face suddenly wild. She pulled out another needle, and this time she jabbed it through Naruto's urinary meatus (you know, the little hole). Naruto flung his head around like crazy, screeching and begging for mercy, but Hinata wasn't about to end her enjoyment so quickly. She pushed the needle further in and giggled as yellowish blood seeped out instead of semen.

Naruto smashed his own head against the wall several times to try and break away from the immense pain coursing through his crotch, but it was no use. It came to a stop after Hinata grabbed him by the hair and punched him in the face, breaking his nose and a few teeth.

"STUPID FUCKER! YOU STUPID FUCKER! WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOU AND ME? WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOU AND ME?" Hinata snatched the bloody kitchen knife from Yuko's pale dead hands and she sliced off Naruto's entire dick with one swipe.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

"STOP IT! STOP SCREAMING! STOP IT! I SAID...STOP! STOP SCREAMING! SHUT UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP! STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP SCREAMING!"

Her emotions out of control, Hinata stuffed the dismembered dick deep down Naruto's throat and slashed out both his eyes, causing them to pop like balloons. Naruto was in immense pain, but all his screams were muffled, and blood was pouring into his nostrils from his eye sockets. Unable to take anymore, Hinata stood up and flipped on her chainsaw.

"Goodbye...Naruto-kun."

Turning her head away, Hinata dropped the chainsaw on top of Naruto, and it chopped its way through his face, digging right into his brain. The poor Uzumaki man shook violently for a moment, and then became still. His entire body was drenched in his own blood. Naruto was finally dead.

Walking over to a large paper bag in the corner, Hinata heaved out a large canister of gasoline. Unscrewing the cap, she poured the liquid all over the pile of corpses, and around most of the blood-stained floor. When that was done, Hinata tossed the empty canister aside and pulled out a match. She walked until she came to the front doors of the warehouse, and then she lit the match.

Stepping out into the open, Hinata tossed the match over her shoulder...and it ignited the gasoline immediately.

The Hyuga woman couldn't help but grin as the warehouse erupted into a fiery explosion, completely eradicating the bodies and all evidence held within...

'Huh. That was pretty fun, actually.'


	5. Orochi Maru

A/N: I did it for the lulz. Not as good as the earlier chapters IMO, but oh well.

* * *

Orochi Maru glanced at his automatic wristwatch for the fifth time that day, wondering when his client would finally arrive. His coffee sat currently untouched on his desk and heat vapor could still be seen rising from it. A check board and pen in his lap, Orochi straightened his tie nervously. He even pushed up his glasses a few times despite them not even slipping off. Whenever a client is running late, he starts to get nervous for no apparent reason.

'Dammit...where the hell is she? She called me so soon after that news flash about the warehouse exploding, and said she desperately needed to see me, and now she doesn't even show up at the appointed time! How dare she! I hope Kabuto can take care of the kids alone today...'

Orochi broke out of his monologue when the office door swung open, and in walked Hyuga Hinata, who was out of breath. "I'm...I'm so sorry!" she panted, "I didn't...didn't realize the time, and I was finishing up something, and...and..."

Orochi smiled and waved it off. "It's fine, it's fine," he said, "Just take a seat and we'll begin."

"T...Thank you." Hinata walked over to the couch and laid down on it. She stared up at the ceiling in silence for a few moments, and then she remarked, "...It's cold today."

Orochi nodded, not really listening at all. Suddenly, he noticed a faint smell of gasoline in the air, but he paid it no mind.

"Everyone in the streets are wearing heavy coats, long scarfs, and winter hats. Sure, it's getting close to December and all, but I think at least SOMEBODY should walk around in their beach clothes! You gotta be manly! You got be crazy! Am I right? Like...like...I dunno. I lost my train of thought. My mind has been so full of new ideas lately..."

"...You're just crazy. You make absolutely no sense." Orochi muttered sarcastically; yeah, he was kind of an asshole.

Hinata's right eye twitched violently for a moment, and then she continued to speak. "I stuck a needle down a guy's penis today. I also jabbed a needle through his testicles, too. It was fun."

"Oh? Did he like it?"

Hinata shook her head. "From the way he was screaming and crying and banging his head against the wall in pain, I don't think so. It got annoying quick, and I finished him off by dropping an active chainsaw on his face."

"Do you mean a power-saw?"

"Maybe. I don't know. I think it was a chainsaw, though. I read the chapter over, and it said it was...I don't know."

As he finished drawing a crude sketch of a naked Hinata with a giant swollen dick and piss flowing out of her mouth, Orochi stood up and grabbed his cup of coffee. After taking a nice long sip from it, he sat back down and continued to doodle.

"Go on." he said with a slight nod.

"I called my mother today; I told her I was gay and I lived in a filthy basement with fifty other dirty naked hoes. She started crying over the phone, and I just had this big grin on my face the whole time. Of course, I was lying; I'm only bisexual, after all."

"Oh, really?" Orochi wrote down 'BISEXUAL' next to the picture, and then drew both a stick-woman and a stick-man sucking on Hinata's dick.

"I had a major crush on Uzumaki Naruto, but he's dead now. I also kind of had a thing for Haruno Sakura too, maybe...but she's dead too. I killed both of them. I ate Sakura's brains and cooked her into a meatloaf, which I served to my fellow employees to dispose of the evidence."

"I wish you saved some for me." Orochi said jokingly as he then erased Hinata's flat stomach and instead drew her a shiny potbelly. How he was able to draw all of this on a single clipboard and piece of paper was beyond comprehension.

"My dad doesn't speak to me. I used to be his little 'daddy's girl', but ever since Haruno Sakura disappeared...he's been wary of me. I think he knows that I killed her. It was the same with when my boyfriend in high school died...he knew it was me. I don't know how he found out, but I think he knows. People are idiots."

"Your father is an intelligent man."

"My little sister, Hanabi already has five bitchy boys and a fat-ass drunk bastard of a husband who runs a dirty old sporting goods store. I laugh at her behind her back whenever I see her, because she's always crying. Yeah, and on another note, whenever I see all these little decrepit old ladies waddling down the streets with their scrappy chihuahuas, I just want to trip them and watch them crack their heads on the pavement..."

"That's not very nice."

"Whatever; I'm not very nice, you're not very nice, Koko the Gorilla isn't very nice, the department store lady with the mole isn't very nice...the whole fuckin' world isn't very nice. I'm a woman, and as a woman I'm expected to find a nice man, settle down, have kids, and work at home for the rest of my life? Fuck no! I wanted to marry my neighbor's border collie when I was kid...I still do."

Orochi chuckled a bit and shook his head. Then, he went over everything he had just heard in his mind, and his eyes widened. "I've never noticed it before...are you always like this, Ms. Hyuga?"

"What do you mean...?" Hinata asked, sitting up.

"I hope you don't mind me saying," Orochi said as he got up from his seat, the drawing of Hinata now complete, "But have you ever really listened to a word you're saying? I sit here and play along for kicks, but if everything you've said, excluding those ridiculous statements about you committing mass homicides, is true...then I'm afraid seeing me isn't enough."

Hinata's fists clenched tightly for a moment, and her body seemed to start shaking, but then she immediately relaxed. "I...I understand."

Orochi glanced at his watch again and placed his clipboard down on his desk. "I'll be right back...wait here for me. Don't touch anything." he said before rushing out the door. Hinata waited until his fading footsteps were gone, and then she slowly stepped over to Orochi's desk. Lifting the clipboard in her hands, the Hyuga woman stared at the crude drawing of her for about a minute. Her lips formed into a snarl and her eyes seemed to almost bulge out of her head.

'That...that bastard...that fucking bastard...hmm, I look pretty good with a dick, but still...that fucking bastard...I'll kill him...I'll kill him...I'LL KILL HIM!'

Soon, the sound of footsteps returned, and Orochi stepped back into the office. He immediately noticed Hinata was holding his clipboard and he snapped, "Hey, I told you not to touch anything, Ms. Hyuga! Please give-"

He was cut off as Hinata spun around and cracked the clipboard across his face as hard as she could. Sprawling onto the ground, Orochi let out a squeal of pain and grasped at his broken nose, which was spewing out blood like crazy. Throwing the clipboard across the room, Hinata stood over Orochi and began speaking, her voice shaky but somewhat calm.

"Who...the...fuck...do...you...think...you...are? I pay good fuckin' money to come here and get some help for my mental illness, and all you do is mock me by drawing shitty-ass pictures! I told you everything, confessed all my crimes, and I keep expecting you to call the police and have me put to death, but you just think it's all one big fuckin' joke, don't you? This proves that I am right; People ARE idiots! Listen, dumbass. I...ACTUALLY...KILLED PEOPLE! ALOT OF PEOPLE! AND I ACTUALLY ATE THEM! AND...GUESS WHAT? I LIKED IT!"

"Are...are you serious?!" Orochi whimpered, his face and hands now drenched in blood.

Leaning down next to him, Hinata grabbed Orochi by the hair and smashed her fist against his face several times, permanently ruining his nose and breaking most of his teeth. "YES, I LIKED IT!" She screamed loudly into his ear, and then she smacked his head down onto the floor and stood back up again.

While Orochi was writhing in pain, Hinata began to contemplate her situation. 'Hmm...I could just kill him now, but that could cause trouble when someone else working in this building finds him dead. I could try and sneak him out, and THEN kill him, but how can I do it without being seen or without it looking unnatural? Ugh...this is such a pain. I better do something quick though, or I'll get caught...'

Suddenly, Hinata had an idea. She took her sweet time as she walked over to a nearby bookshelf and lifted a very large bust into her arms. Orochi was still lying on the floor, weeping and bleeding, when the Hyuga woman returned to him...and dropped the bust right on his head, cracking his skull and instantly killing him upon impact.

"Well, that takes care of him...now what do I do?"

Shrugging, she hoisted Orochi's body over her shoulders and dragged him all the way back to her car. Amazingly, no one saw it, so she drove back to her apartment and let out a breath of relief...


	6. Another Psycho

A/N: Should I make it even MORE graphic with other crazy violent stuff? Anything goes in this fic, baby!

* * *

Panic At The Disco's song 'Nine In The Afternoon' was blaring loudly from her radio, and its melody radiated throughout the entire apartment.

Hyuga Hinata was softly humming the song to herself as she put on a pair of kitchen mits. Bending down, she opened up the oven door and checked to see if the cupcakes were ready yet. On the table behind her laid a cutting table drenched and dripping with fresh blood, along with a large kitchen knife. Small pieces of flesh and bone were scattered about on the floor, and a bag with all of Orochi's removed hair was left by the doorway to be disposed of later.

His brain and sliced up body parts were stored in foil wrapping inside the freezer, so Hinata could help herself to it later.

'Hmm...I wonder if I added too much sugar?' Hinata thought as she slammed the oven door shut and sat down on the couch. She picked up the remote controller off the table and flipped through the channels for a while; she had never felt so bored in her life, waiting for those cupcakes to finish baking.

Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out Orochi Maru's driver's license; it said he was 47 years old and his license's renewal was today of all days. Smirking, Hinata knew that that was one of the many things poor Orochi wouldn't be able to accomplish in his recently-ended life.

'Then again, he was married to another man ten years younger than him and they had three kids...he deserved to die. He was a danger to society as we know it...' Hinata justified this to herself as she stuck the license back into her pockets and went back to check the cupcakes again. This time, they were finally done. Hinata took out the cupcakes, turned off the oven, and decided to let them cool for a while.

Suddenly, there was knock on the door. Quickly hiding away her blood-stained 'I KILLED THE COOK' apron, Hinata ran over and opened the door. A man in a police uniform was standing in the doorway, and he had a horribly disfigured face. Looking closely, Hinata realized it was actually just a crude mask...made out of someone's face.

Hinata giggled and exclaimed, "Ah, I thought I recognized that rotting old face underneath that mask of yours...Neji-itoko."

Grunting, the man stepped inside and removed the mask, revealing his true face; he was a handsome young man in his late 30s with long black hair and a bit of a stubble. His name was Hyuga Neji, and he was not only Hinata's close cousin and friend, but also her inspiration of her mad ways. Neji had committed many vicious murders in his complicated past, but only once had he ever been caught and arrested...and that was due to him being a necrophiliac.

He sniffed the air for a moment, and then remarked, "Hey...you made cupcakes just for me. Thanks, Hinata-chan."

"I didn't make them for you, Neji-itoko."

Taking out a pistol from his coat pocket, Neji pointed it at Hinata's head and hissed, "YES. YOU. DID."

Sighing, Hinata offered Neji to help himself. Grabbing one of the first cupcakes on the rack, Neji sat down on the couch and immediately made himself comfortable. Hinata took a seat next to him, and they were both silent for a moment, the only sounds being the music and Neji's loud munching.

Suddenly...

"UGH!"

Neji cringed when he realized a strange murky white liquid was dripping out of the cupcake's core. Turning to his cousin, he asked, "Uh...what the hell did you put in these? This ain't what I think I'm tasting, is it? Cum? I hope it is..."

Hinata shook her head. "It's an eyeball. I guess it melted."

Neji had a disgusted look on his face. He stared at Hinata, then at the cupcake, then at Hinata again. Then, he just shrugged and took another bite.

"Hmm...pretty damn good..." Neji mumbled as he tossed the rest of the cupcake into his mouth.

"So, Neji-itoko," Hinata asked once Neji was willing to listen, "I guess the FBI caught onto your whole 'surgeon's assistant' facade, huh?"

Neji let out a heavy sigh, and he suddenly looked wizened beyond his years. He scratched the back of his head as he tried to think of the right words to say. Hinata loved watching her cousin become nervous; it made him seem so childish and cute in her eyes.

"Yeah, they arrested me while I was busy fucking some old biddy's corpse. I spent a few years in jail, no one visited me, and then I was let go for good behavior. And, the first thing I did, was kill the two guards escorting me and use their faces to make my disguise. I disposed of their bodies in a river, and burned all my clothes and took theirs." Neji explained, holding up the leathery-looking "mask" in his greasy hands.

"You weren't careful enough; that's why you got caught." Hinata said as she stood up. Walking ever so daintly, she headed back into the kitchen to help herself to one of the cupcakes as well.

"So...judging from the eyeball in the cupcake, I guess you've been enjoying yourself a bit too much lately, Hinata-chan. Didn't think you'd become a killer like me..." Neji called to her from the living room as Hinata stuffed three cupcakes in her mouth at once.

"My whole life had been one big fuckin' mess since day one! I have every right to let off some steam, even if it does just make me angrier."

"All those disappearances and violent murders...you were responsible for them?"

Hinata beamed proudly and replied, "Yup! Every one of them! I even ate most of my victims, too!"

Neji shook his head in disbelief. "Color me impressed."

Silence befalling them again, Neji just sat still and pondered things over in his mind.

Then, an idea came to him. "So...wanna team up?" he asked.

This offer caught Hinata's attention, and she stormed back into the living room and stared at Neji for a while. She hated the idea of having to work with someone else, especially since Yuko Nadashia had failed to kill Naruto herself, as her orders stated.

Obviously, Neji had no idea of the true madness that was Hyuga Hinata.

"No need for the evil eye, Hinata. Save it for the 'customers'...heh heh..." Neji said jokingly. Somehow, he now had an open beer can in his hands. He took a small sip and then belched, and he didn't even say "excuse me".

"When you say 'team up', you mean...?"

"You know, kill people together and all that. After we mutilate 'em, I get to fuck the female corpses and you can help yourself to the brains and whatnot! How about it?"

Hinata thought about it; she liked the idea, especially because if the need ever arose, she could pin all the blame on Neji. Plus, she'd be able to kill more people now in shorter amounts of time with such an experienced murderer like Neji on her side.

Taking his hands within her own, she smiled widely and replied, "Yes, Neji-itoko. I'd love to work together with you."

Neji returned the smile; when the time was right, he planned on possibly betraying Hinata as well.

And so, the dangerous two-man team from hell was born...


	7. Sarutobi Asuma

The moment they stepped outside, the Hyuga cousins were overcome with the noise and smells of the city once again. For some reason, it was really bad today; Hinata could practically see the atmosphere fill up with smoke coming from cars' exhaust pipes. The sky was covered in gray clouds, with a few punctures letting in sunlight. It was going to rain soon.

After Neji and her strapped themselves into their seats, Hinata thrust the key into the ignition and turned it twice before the car roared to life. Pulling out a lighter and pack of cigarettes, Neji slipped one in between his lips and lit it. In the backseat of the car was a large duffel bag, with a variety of weapons and torture devices hidden inside.

Hinata backed the car out of the parking space, and then flipped to 'drive' and quickly moved onto the main road, cars zooming by on the left lane, wind whipping against their faces. Hinata started to reach towards the radio, but Neji slapped her hand away. They were silent for about a moment.

"So...who're we gonna kill?" Neji asked.

Hinata sighed and replied, "Unlike you, Neji-itoko...I only kill people who annoy me, and, luckily for you, this certain man pissed me off greatly..."

Reaching into his pocket, Neji pulled out a photo of a middle-aged man with a small beard and sideburns on his face. A set of data about the man was written below the photo. "This guy's name is Sarutobi Asuma, huh? He's married to a woman named Yuhi Kurenai, and she's currently 8 months pregnant, expecting to give birth any day now."

"We'll kill all of them."

"Why?" Neji asked; it's not that he was having second thoughts about the whole thing, but he'd never murdered a pregnant woman before.

"That man stared at my chest, while his wife was standing right next to him," Hinata explained, "She was either too ignorant or too stupid to notice, and that really pisses me off. Besides...he carries some certain paperwork with him that I wish to obtain."

Neji asked no more, although he did wonder what Hinata's other plans were within this random murder they were going to commit.

Suddenly, out of random, Hinata asked, "Hey, Neji-itoko...do you think we should sing?"

"...Huh?"

"You know, like some kind of crappy Sweeney Todd parody...you can sing, right?"

Nejishook his head and tossed his cigarette over the side. "That's the dumbest shit I've ever heard."

"C'mon, we could have our own theme song! Something cool like, uh...'Hungry Like The Wolf' or something! Duran Duran is awesome!" Hinata exclaimed with a big grin on her face. She even started singing the song while bobbing her head and giggling to herself.

"...Are you on crack?" Neji asked her.

Hinata shrugged. "I've felt like I was crack since I was five. Leave me alone, man."

"Funny. So did I."

"Why did you start a life of crime anyway, Neji-itoko?" Hinata asked, wishing to know more about her 'superior'.

Neji breathed in deep as if he was snorting cocaine before he said, "I watched all the SAW movies in a row...and drugs were good." He left it at that.

"Billy the puppet's got nothing on me!" Hinata exclaimed randomly.

Neji chuckled under his breath and turned on the radio, despite the fact Hinata was going to turn it on earlier. Hinata noticed this discrepancy, and her violent twitch returned again for only a second. Neji didn't notice it, and he just closed his eyes and rested as the car turned off down a road into the more suburban part of the city.

Many of the houses looked the same, Hinata noticed. Glancing at the directions she had gotten off the Internet, she made another turn, and eventually found herself coming into a cul-de-sac. Sure enough, Hinata found Sarutobi Asuma's house at the end of the dead-end street: number XXX.

Making sure no cops were around, Hinata slowly parked the car underneath the shade of several oak trees nearby their target's residence. The more cover they had for escape, the better.

"We're here." Hinata told Neji as she nudged him awake. Grunting, Neji reached into the back of the car and unloaded the duffel bag. He unzipped the top and peered inside. There were knives of all shapes and sizes, clippers, hammers and nails, a molding key to fit any lock, a small bottle of skin-melting acid, various surgery tools, three empty shopping bags, a ball gag with spikes, a dildo with spikes, and more.

"Damn...this is alot of stuff. Are we gonna use all of it?" Neji asked as he climbed out of the car and hefted the duffel bag's handles around his arm.

"No. I basically just do anything that comes to me, but I always bring alot of stuff just in case I want to do something special..." Hinata explained like it was no big deal.

After putting on gloves, ski-masks and whatever else they needed to keep their bodies fully hidden, Hinata and Neji stealthily made their way over to the house. Hinata hid behind a clump of bushes near the front door, and silently ordered Neji to go around back and peek through a window to see if anyone was there. Unlike most people planning to break into a house, they WANTED someone to be inside.

Keeping pressed against the wall and crouching in the shadows, Neji eventually reached the side of the house. Leaning up slowly, he got the faintest glimpse of a woman with long black hair and a protruding belly walk by for only a few seconds. Smirking to himself, Neji crawled back to Hinata and nodded to her, indicating that one of the targets were inside.

"I think only the woman is in there...what about Sarutobi Asuma?"

"We'll just have our fun for now, and make sure he sees what we want him to see when he gets back...heh heh..."

Taking out the molding key, Hinata fit it to unlock the front door, and then the two Hyugas snuck inside, bringing the duffel bag with them. A piercing scream filled the air for just a moment before a loud thud silenced it...

* * *

_Later that day, at around 6:13 p.m..._

Sarutobi Asuma let out a sigh of relief as his humble little home came into view. He had been in the architectural office all day, working hard for their growing little family. Asuma couldn't help but smile as he visioned his beautiful wife smiling at him, cradling their newborn son in her arms.

'Life is good...' he thought as he brought his car into the driveway and parked it. As he climbed out of his car, the first thing he noticed, glancing towards the window, was that all the inside of the house was completely dark. This disturbed him a little, but he shook the thought out of his mind and locked the car behind him.

Still a bit distraught, Asuma tried whistling to himself as he pulled out his house keys. Unlocking the door, he stepped inside...and immediately heard the sound of something splash. Looking down, he realized he was standing in something wet. Due to it being practically pitch-black inside the house, he had no idea what it was.

He blindly reached out for the light switch beside him, but even when he flicked it up and down several times, the lights failed to go on.

Raising his head back up, he called out, "...Honey? Are you here? Did the power go out? Honey? Hello? It's me, Asuma! Hello?" There was no answer.

Suddenly, he caught sight of a small light emitting from the kitchen. Walking slowly, Asuma winced as the splashing sound arose with every step he took. The kitchen was empty, except for a table-lamp (hence the light source) and a small plastic bag on the counter table. Asuma took a closer look and saw a small puddle of red liquid had formed underneath whatever was inside the bag.

'Oh...my...god...'

Slowly lifting the bag in his hands, Asuma realized there was something squishy but firm inside. He had no idea what to expect as he turned the bag over on the table and opened it, a million fears and horrors running through his mind. Pulling the handles of the bag open, he watched as something fell out right in front of him, splashing the blood around. It was...

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

Turning around, Asuma dashed out of the room, screaming like mad. He quickly ran up the stairs, nearly slipping on the wet substance again. What he had left behind in that kitchen, the thing that had been inside the bag that horrified him so...was a full-grown baby fetus with a large gash in its neck.

'Oh my god...oh my god...oh my god...Kurenai...our son...our son...he's...no...what happened to you, Kurenai?!'

Asuma continued to run to the bedroom, where he kept a gun in case of intruders, and burst the door open with his foot. What he found, though, ruined what was left of his sanity even more.

Two people, both of them with long black hair, one a man and the other a woman, were sitting on his bed, watching television as the horribly mutilated body of his wife laid at their feet, her pregnant belly having been sliced open like a orange. Her guts had poured out and laid in a pile in the middle of the room. Blood was everywhere; on the walls, on the carpet, it even was covering these two strangers. Asuma shook violently as he entered the room, and tears were pouring down his face.

The female of the two glanced up and said, "Oh...so you finally decided to come up here. Did you like the present we left for you in the kitchen?"

Without warning, Asuma quickly ran to the cupboard, pulled out a pistol, and aimed it at the two strangers' heads. However, they had already vanished from the bed by that time.

"Dammit," he cursed wildly, "Where the fuck did those fucking bastards go?!"

Suddenly, Asuma felt a pair of strong arms wrap around his body and pull him to the ground. The pistol was snatched from him and one of the two attackers (he wasn't sure which) kicked him in the face and stomach several times as he laid there. Coughing up blood, Asuma tried to stand back up, but then a large kitchen knife dug into his chest, tearing into his heart. At that moment, a small locket he kept of a photo of his wife fell onto the floor beside him.

He only wobbled for a moment in place before collapsing to the ground. As his vision left him, Asuma clenched onto the locket and held it tightly, his last thoughts for his dear deceased wife. Then...he passed away. A puddle of blood soon formed under his body.

Standing over him, Hinata and Neji were both smiling.


	8. Plans

A/N: IT'S BACK...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!! o.o

* * *

Neji let out a grunt as he lifted Asuma's corpse into his arms. Cursing under his breath, he snapped, "Dammit...why the hell do I have to carry the body? He weighs a fuckin' ton!"

Picking up the bloody kitchen knife in between her lithe fingers, Hinata stared at it for about five minutes, completely mesmerized. 'Hmm...I wonder...'

"HEY, HINATA! STOP STARING AT THE GODDAMN KNIFE AND COME ON!"

Snapping out of her trance, Hinata quickly followed after Neji, who was being careful not to slip on all the blood as he carried the body. When he finally reached the stairs, Neji decided to make things easier on himself, and he rolled Asuma's body down the steps. It eventually stopped after smacking against the front door from sliding on the blood.

"You have a unique way of transporting corpses..." Hinata joked.

"Whatever," Neji grunted, and then he turned to Hinata, "Did you dispose of all evidence?"

Hinata nodded. "Yup. No fingerprints or anything are left. Of course, I had to leave the woman's corpse just as it was. You know...I just enjoy frightening the populace."

Neji carefully treaded down the stairs and then lifted Asuma's corpse back into his arms again. Glancing over at the kitchen, he said, "...What should we do about that baby thing we tore out of that bitch's stomach?!"

Hinata bit her lip and thought about it. They could use it for extra food, but it wouldn't amount to much compared to a full-grown human body.

"Leave it. Like I said, I enjoy frightening the populace." Hinata replied, walking down the stairs as she spoke.

Sticking his hand in Asuma's pockets, Neji eventually pulled out a set of keys. Tossing them to Hinata, he asked, "I guess what you're looking for is in his car, huh?"

Hinata caught the keys and then opened the front door. She peeked out to make sure there was no one around, and then she slowly stepped outside. It was dark out now, and the soft humming of crickets could be heard in the background. Running over to Asuma's car, Hinata tried about five different keys before she finally unlocked the door.

"It's...it's gotta be in here somewhere...hold on..."

As Hinata leaned far in to search for whatever it was she was looking for, Neji took this moment to stare at his younger cousin's ass and fantasize. 'DAMN...SHE'S REALLY HOT. HER ASS IS SO CURVY AND SOFT-LOOKING, JUST LIKE THE REST OF HER! MAYBE I CAN FUCK HER CORPSE AFTER I KILL HER LATER...YEAH...I'LL DEFINITELY DO THAT...'

"AH! HERE IT IS!"

Suddenly, Hinata dragged out a large black suitcase from underneath the driver's seat. Placing it on the roof of the car, she used another one of the keys to open it, revealing sets upon sets of documents and blueprints held within. Hinata fumbled through the paper until she finally came across what she was looking for: a set of blueprints for the entire city of Konoha.

"...Blueprints of the city?" Neji asked her.

Hinata nodded, and stared at the blueprints intensely. "Yes. I looked Sarutobi Asuma's records and found out he had a job as one of the main architectural manufacturers, and he had actually been a major help in the construction of the city itself."

Swinging open the trunk of Hinata's car, Neji gently placed Asuma's body inside as he then said, "What exactly do you plan on doing with a bunch of blueprints?"

An evil smirk formed on Hinata's plump lips. "If I told you...you'd say I was crazy."

"I already think you're crazy. Tell me what you've got in that psychotic murderous little mind of yours..." Neji joked.

Chuckling, Hinata wrapped up the blueprints and stuck them in deep between her breasts for safe keeping. Brushing a few strands of hair behind her ear, Hinata said, "I plan on destroying this entire city, of course. Bring all of it...crashing to the ground..."

Neji's eyes widened; he hadn't expected this.

"You see, Neji-itoko," Hinata continued, "This whole place is quite large, but destroy the support holds of only four certain buildings, and you can destroy more than half of the entire city! Those four buildings will collapse, and crush everything in their path. It might not destroy the entire city, as I had exaggerated, but it will definitely cause massive damage that will last for years...and take millions of lives in the process!"

Neji lit a cigarette and stuck it between his teeth. "You don't make a fuckin' ounce of sense. You say it'll destroy the whole city, and then you say it won't destroy the whole city. I don't understand you, Hinata. I just don't fuckin' get you. You...you're a psycho. Seriously. You need to make sense when you speak, or nothing will ever get accomplished. Do you get me?"

Hinata flashed a sweet, innocent smile and replied, "I don't need to make sense, Neji-itoko. If I feel like talking like a complete psycho, I'll talk like a complete psycho. If I feel like torturing some people, I'll torture some people. If I feel like eating some cheese, I'll drink some milk. If I feel like bringing about death...I'll bring death to every fuckin' low-brow shitheaded asswipe who thinks that life is something worth living! I do what I want, when I want. I don't need anyone to question the way I work...got it? Do you understand what I'm trying to say, Neji-itoko?"

Not wanting to get on his insane cousin's bad side, Neji just nodded to show he understood.

While the two murderers climbed into the car, Hinata added, "Also...I need you to purchase the explosive necessary for my plan. I've written down what kind we need on a piece of paper back at my apartment."

"Why can't you do it?" Neji asked.

"I'll...be busy tomorrow."

Without anything else to say, Hinata turned on the ignition and drove the car out of the driveway.

As the car moved onto the highway, Neji was beginning to have second thoughts about his partnership with Hinata...

* * *

_The next day..._

Pein awoke with a throbbing pain in the back of his head. He was still wearing his clothes from the business meeting, even though he was definitely sure he had removed them before he was suddenly knocked out. Oddly enough, he found himself sitting in complete darkness.

"Ugh...what the fuck happened..."

Standing up, he groped around, being careful not to hit into anything, when he finally reached the wall. Slowly, he walked with his left hand against the wall until it finally came in contact with a light switch. Flipping it up, the room was immediately illuminated with light, and it took Pein a moment for his eyes to stop watering.

Looking around, he realized he was in a small green room, with an open door leading out to a hallway. What really caught his eye, though, was an overturned wheelchair...with a trail of blood leading away from it and down the left part of the hall.

'...KONAN!'


End file.
